Yet another blog

Well, I wasn't sure if I'd do this but, I've decided to write a new blog. Its topic will be motherhood. My first thought about blogging on this topic was absolutely not to do it. I mean, really, there must be about a million women writing about the same topic. Then it occurred to me that all of these women are having unique experiences and so would I; why not put it in writing (or type as it were)? Plus I really like blogging. I hope there are some who may even be interested in reading my thoughts.

My first blog about motherhood is actually going to be about my mom. I am so fortunate to have had a mom who was able to stay home to raise her kids. This is such a priceless gift; nowadays, it feels so impossible to be able to do so. (Now, some stay-at-home moms may beg to differ that staying home is a gift, but I personally think many of those women will look back on their lives and have no regrets about it.) Some of my favorite memories about childhood hinge on the fact that my mom was home. She was there when I came home from school. We spent the summers with her. When my brothers and dad went to Boy Scout camp, it always felt so special to be just me and my mom.

I remember that in my childhood, my mom was such a cool lady. All of my friends liked her because she was fun and just dripping with nice-ness. She was just such a pleasure to be around. Very rarely did I see her unhappy. Life goes on, and as I grew older, of course I realized that moms aren't always just happy. They're maybe just really good at hiding discontentment from their children; they don't want to impose their problems on their kids.
That being said, now that I'm older I see my mom in a different light. I see that maybe the years have been hard on her. Maybe she has some regrets about choices she made in life. (Who doesn't!?) I think she sees herself as weak or vulnerable. I completely disagree; I think she has inner strength that would surprise her if she tapped into it. I hope she knows that she was and is so important to me. I hope she realizes that I know she's not perfect, but she is the perfect person to be my mom. I know my appreciation for her will grow as I go through my experience as a mom. I hope Sydney will feel the same way about me, as I do about my mom.

My mom and I don't really express our love for each other. It's definitely unspoken and always has been; I'm not sure why. Oddly, this is ok. I think we care for each other so deeply that it's emotionally overwhelming for us to even think about saying the words. Maybe this is why it's easier to blog about it. I know my mom is probably going to read this; I hope she does.

I wish my mom and I could live close to each other. We don't because I've made the choice to move to various places, most currently CT, while she is in MI. Recently, my mom and dad had intentions of moving to CT, and my mom even came to stay with us for a while but decided to go home. Although I wish she had chosen to stay here, I completely understand her choice. Making such a big move is incredibly difficult, but I give her a lot of credit for even trying it out. It was definitely out of her comfort zone to take such a leap and most people probably won't have done it. I hope she knows that no matter where she is, she has a daughter who thinks the world of her.